Rude awakening -- Abuse it and lose it -- Politics has gotten #$!@%! nasty -- Group insult -- Big blogger -- If you can't we witty, don't be shitty -- Then maybe you should stop complaining -- Abuse -- Censorship -- Road rude -- Parking -- No condom? No way -- If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question -- A civil person's handy list: things to tell people who put you on the spot -- Gracious you -- Toenail clipping and common scents -- Where is the respect? -- You respect my opinion, and I'll respect yours -- A civil person's handy list: how not to turn a discussion into a fight -- Daily rehab -- T.S.A. does not mean "time to smart ass" -- A civil person's handy list: how not to slow down a TSA screening -- Just plane good manners -- Even Steve Jobs has to turn off his cell phone -- A traveler check -- Fragrant fliers -- Stinky foods not to bring on a plane -- Louder, they can't hear you in the lobby -- Places not to use a cell phone -- Thank you for not texting -- Resisting textation -- A flea on the ass of a mosquito -- Play nice or stay home -- Self test: stadium behavior -- Block that parent -- Self test: sideline civility -- Down in front! -- Manners -- An elevator is like a bathroom -- Encourage your kids to play by themselves -- Peer itself -- Role models will disappoint you -- A civil person's handy list: role models who have disappointed us -- How do I look? And tell the truth -- The three questions -- You realize I can see you -- If you don't like it, don't do it -- Should we be worried about this? -- Bloggers are cowards -- Don't think you know someone because you see them on TV -- A civil person's handy list: commonly used hurtful words and phrases -- You realize I can hear you -- The smarter things to say -- Self test: offensive language -- Think it, don't say it -- A civil person's handy list: things to think and not say -- Buddy is the new nigger -- Just because I'm Catholic, don't assume that a priest has touched me -- There aren't enough jails -- Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape! -- A civil person's handy list: the hands-off list -- A civil person's handy list: behavior to avoid in the workplace -- Simple requests for portraying black people -- Questions you should ask a week before guests come to your house -- Who rules when it's not your house? -- Noisy neighbors -- Bullies -- Self test: am I a bully? -- Manners don't take a vacation -- May I have your attention please? Please? -- Stress one now -- With all due respect -- Master score sheet for self-tests -- Glossary of terms & other words.