Before Jess was the new girl, there was Nick, Winston, Schmidt . . . and The Douchebag Jar. Originally devised to do nothing more than alter Schmidt's wardrobe, hairstyle, and personality, the Douchebag Jar has become an apartment-wide phenomenon, forever changing the way douche-like behavior is viewed, policed, and penalized. Compiled and annotated by Schmidt himself, The Douche Journals catalogs the jar's first years in existence. Every jar-worthy outfit, faux pas, and innuendo is captured exquisitely and for all time, transporting fans and scholars alike into the inner orbit of a master douche at the height of his powers. Comprehensive, unflinching, and fully illustrated, The Douche Journals delves deep into the annals of douchery.

When people think of hiring an interior decorator to help them design a house, an apartment, or just a room, they often have stars in their eyes. This is the opportunity to live out their dreams-maybe not Architectural Digest dreams, but at least House Beautiful, Country Living, or House &​ Garden. Then they spend a lot of time and money, admire their gorgeous home for a week or two, then realize that the one thing they should have considered was making the place ... slob proof